i barfeds in our rink
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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