This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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