we have pet lesbian snakes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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