Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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