I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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