I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
