My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
