ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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