Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
