Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
