Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
