im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
