Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
