My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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