I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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