wat bout pragnant strippers??
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
