i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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