so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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