I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm bleeding and have questions
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
