It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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