he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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