whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
