But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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