Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
