What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
