And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
