she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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