Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is the high leading the old right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We need to get me chipped asap
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