did you get engaged???
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
