ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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