I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
