; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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