He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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