So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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