Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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