Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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