I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
