found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
