i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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