I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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