DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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