You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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