words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize