I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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