All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You pole danced in your parka.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
