Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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