I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
