Im at strip club and am horny
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
