I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
