I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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