My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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