Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
