I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
