you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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