do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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