how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize