We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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