she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My penis needs a shock collar
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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