gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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