I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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