So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
