After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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