Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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