he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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