i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
