she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
accomplished twins. life is a go
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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