Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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