OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
