I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
