you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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