wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
